Why I Don’t Date Czechs

I was born in Czechoslovakia, raised in Czechia and continue to live in Prague, the city I love. It was always sort of understood and expected that my life partner would be a Czech man. However, to the disappointment of my family, who don’t speak English, Czech guys succeeded dodging me the past ten years.

When I ended up single and back on the market after my last, five-year-long relationship with an expat, I was devastated. I decided I had to turn my life around. The Next Mr. Right must be Czech, or at least speak fluently česky. And he also must be someone who has some career and is older and wiser than me… the list went on and on. I felt super proud that I knew what I wanted; I felt in control. And I was hiding behind this list describing my future husband, although it wasn’t clear to me if I ever even wanted to get married. I wondered why I kept holding on to people that were toxic for me, being disappointed and going completely mental. I had a list, so why on earth did this keep happening!?

Although there was nobody explicitly telling me what to do, I felt pressured to find my Czech man, asap. Was it the frequent looks of pity from married women when I mentioned I was single? Or was it the ticking of my biological clock (who said I wanted to have kids?) Perhaps it was society trying to force on me the idea that I could only be complete as part of a couple. Who knows…

I ended up falling in love with a student from Denmark, more than three years younger than me. But I was in deep denial about it, and for months I kept figuratively waving my list in his face, trying to persuade us both that it simply wouldn’t work. It was there in writing.

Obviously, I kept seeing him, congratulating myself on how casual I was about it (I was not). He never played by any rules though, which pissed me off, cause I wanted to be in control. Come on, doesn’t he know the unwritten rules of a casual relationship?

One day he wrote me he missed me, and I thought, ok, that’s enough, that must be against the rules. What rules, you’re asking? Me, too. So I decided we should stop hanging out. But just the thought of it made me miserable. For the first time, I genuinely admitted to myself that I’m in love with that dork. Suddenly it became clear to me… There is no “happily ever after” in real life. There is only happy right here, right now, and no one knows what the future will bring. I shouldn’t let my happy moments slip away in a hunt for a fantasy.

I’m gonna stop there; it doesn’t matter how it turned out. What does matter is that I finally understood that in order to be happy, I must find the courage to let go and listen to my instincts, make the best out of what I have, be grateful and enjoy every moment while it lasts. And that’s why I don’t date (only) Czechs.