Gossip

Gossip. Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true.

Oxford Dictionaries

I prefer to stay in blissful ignorance when it comes to stuff people say about me behind my back. Assumingly, it’s none of my business if they can’t say it to my face… 😛 But let me state that the expat community in Prague is small, people gossip and it comes with consequences. I want to share with you a story from back in the day when I was a lesbian.

There was a girl who I kept running into at open mics and she kept asking me to kiss her. She’d come to me, legitimately wasted (in her excuse), and go, “Princess Unipony, you have to kiss me, there’s this guy I like and I want to make him jealous.” “No, thanks,” I said. And I didn’t think of it again. A couple months later, I met her at another open mic. She went straight to me and apologized for insisting on kissing me. Then she stepped closer, and with a sense of urgency in her voice, asked if I was a lesbian. She caught me by surprise. “I’m not – I’m seeing a guy; he’s coming tonight…” No guy ever showed up. I don’t know how I thought I would get away with such a cheap trick…

A couple days went by; I was hanging out at a concert, enjoying the music and chatting… and suddenly got asked the same question again! “Are you a lesbian?” Apparently the gossip had spread. I was curious what had given me away. Turns out it was the fact that I had posted on Facebook that I went to gay pride. I had also called a girl in one of my posts “my queen”.

Me and my girlfriend had a great laugh about it. I found it precious that people (and I can only wonder if there were more) had mistaken me and my queen for lovers. It would be a cool world if we were gay for each other, but in this world, I’m straight. And not that it matters much, but… I thought it was rather obvious.

I know, that story was cute and seemingly innocent, but some gossip can be dangerous, damaging and not funny at all. Let me give you another example. Once someone from the Couch Surfing community warned a guy I liked to watch out for me because “she’s a slut”. I‘m not even gonna get into the details of what tremendous bullshit that is and what I think of individuals who call women sluts. I was lucky that my guy decided to form his own opinion about me (and we coincidentally ended up being a couple for years). But how many people would have just stayed away?

I’m myself guilty of making assumptions about others, despite actively trying to avoid that poison. I strive not to vocalize it or act on it before I find out the truth. It’s someone else’s reputation… I always thought that in a superhero universe, my superpower would be the ability to always see the good in people. When I talk positively about others even if they’re not around, listing the things I appreciate about them, it fills me with gratitude and the world seems like a great place to live in.

There are many people who struggle with some personal demons and who take pleasure in spreading rumors and find comfort in putting labels on people. But that doesn’t mean that you and I have to believe it or participate in it. We can always call it out tactfully, change the topic or walk away. If I got caught up in some negative thoughts, I’d appreciate it if my friend gently pointed it out to me and helped me get back on a positive path. I think that in a community, we should watch out for each other and be kind to each other. ‘Cause karma’s a bitch; just saying… what we put out there does come back.

Life’s too short…
…to indulge in someone else’s life instead of living our own.

Princess Unipony

Read about the hot spot in Prague for blowing-off some steam.